“Let your
religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair.” G K Chesterton
It’s barely
the end of the first full week of Lent, and I’m already getting skittish around
the edges of my disciplines for the season, even though I can completely see
the benefits of many of them. I don’t
drink coffee (or alcohol) or eat sweets (except birthday cakes!) during Lent,
and I know I am much calmer, my acid reflux is down, and I’m probably nicer to
be around. I’m not doing as well on not
watching so much TV, although I have resisted the temptation to turn the set on
first thing in the morning.
The two
things that I appreciate the most, even though I struggle with them are these:
1) spending time in meditative prayer each morning and 2) Putting the best construction
on what others do or say, particularly when it pisses me off.
Like I say,
I’m struggling with them. I feel at
peace when I meditate, and I think I am more loving to those around me when I
have centered myself by letting go of myself (there’s some brain research that
supports that). But it’s so hard some
mornings, when all kinds of stuff is rattling around inside my mind. Tasks, deadlines, problems at work, and just
a whole lot of distractions. I also, to
be honest, am afraid at times of what might happen to me if I let me go. I understand theoretically, and even deeper
in my spirit that the way to peace involves this, but I have to turn off not
only the voices saying, “do this...get that done…watch out for him”, but also
the deep voice of the lie that says “you are all there is, and you better protect
yourself no matter what.”
I’d love to
hear from folks what has helped them with letting go.
The other
thing, putting the best construction on what others do or say comes from Luther’s
explanation of the 8th commandment.
We read that piece from the Small Catechism in worship on Sunday, and it
was good that we did, because I was putting the worst construction on several people, all at once. A kind of judgmental multi-tasking.
I’ve been
able to practice—in the dual sense of putting it into practice, and practicing
not perfecting—that discipline this week. It’s more than not judging another;
it’s actually seeking to judge in the way I would like to be judged, that is,
with grace and understanding. What’s
hard is that it usually needs to happen when I: 1) am angry with the person and
2) feel like I have to win the point or prevail in the decision. Talk about not being at peace! But when I have practiced it, it has made the
relationship more loving, even when we didn’t agree.
I hope that
these two Lenten disciplines can be something I incorporate into my life after
the Fast is over. I will need to be as
patient with myself as I seek to be with others in order to do that.
Be patience.
Be beauty. Be justice
Patrick
When I'm looking for meditation-related wisdom, I often turn to Pema Chodron. From "The Pocket Pema Chodron," #74," entitled "Move Beyond Self Protection:"
ReplyDeleteWe think that by protecting ourselves from suffering we are being kind to ourselves. The truth is, we only become more fearful, more hardened, and more alienated. We experience ourselves as being separate from the whole. This separateness becomes like a prison for us, a prison that restricts us to our personal hopes and fears and to caring only for the people nearest to us. Curiously enough, if we primarily try to shield ourselves from discomfort, we suffer. Yet when we don't close off and we let our hearts break, we discover our kinship with all beings.
On an entirely different wavelength, and this seems a little crazy, but I think it has a very real effect when I'm agitated about something: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAhNSHNyGd4
Kristy--this was very helpful. That idea of separateness being a prison is so true, in personal relationships, but also in the world we live in. Violence on any level is finally an attempt to keep people far away.
DeleteThanks for the link to the "tapping"--it's not that crazy, actually. I've done softer touching in that way, but some days I could sure see that tapping would be needed!
It seems to me to be those closest to me whom I resist putting on a 'good construction'. It seems counter intuitive but I am much more willing to withhold judgment from the cashier at Target than I may be to those in my own home. As for letting go.........I find myself at a loss with that one right now , as well.
ReplyDeletethat's true for me too. I wonder if it is because there's less at stake with the cashier than with our loved ones.
DeleteI'll say this--I doubt we'll run out of chances to practice, though!